Table Manners by Maura Rhodes

TABLE MANNERS
By Maura Rhodes

"The home where table etiquette is ignored rears the ill-bred child"

.... from "Correct Social Usage" 1903

 My mother was a stickler for manners. She taught us that manners were very important, not just because the lack of them would make people think that we were badly brought up heaven forbid!), but also that manners are a sign of consideration for others. My sister and I were taught to say please and thank you at all times, always to reply promptly and politely to invitations, letters and phone calls and above all to consider other people's feelings above our own. Table manners were very important in our house: we all had to be seated promptly at the dinner table and to use our cutlery correctly. Even reading at the table was forbidden and to this day I am incapable of reading a book whilst eating!

 What may you ask has all this to do with Bridge? Quite a lot, I say. Table manners at Bridge are also important and are not really stressed enough. It always amazes me now some people who are quite polite, kind people away from the table seem to think that the normal code of social behaviour no longer applies at the Bridge table. Wouldn't the game of Bridge be a more pleasant experience if all players were well-mannered and courteous at all times to their partners and to their opponents? Is it really too much to ask?

My pet hates are:
1. Gloaters- these are people who, when they do well out of you, will say to their partners, “That was a too board for us" Thus delivering the message that it was a bottom board for my unfortunate partner and myself.  Have you noticed that the top players never do this? They will just score up and say nothing.

2.  People who arrive at the table totally ignoring your greetings, in deep discussion with their partners about the last hand. Of course. we all want to talk about the interesting or challenging hands, but there is a time and place for such discussion, and it is not when you change table and are about to play the next board. You should arrive at each table with a courteous greeting to the opponents and then get on with playing the next boards.

3.  Some inconsiderate people, when they have finished play, talk loudly at the table, totally forgetting that half the room is still playing. These offenders usually discuss the hand they have lust paved in extremely loud voices!

4.  Latecomers who arrive late at the table thus putting us under time pressure for the next boards.

5.  The people who call the Director in an aggressive manner, without informing the other people at the table first. Of course, the Director must be called when an infringement of the rules occur, but there is no need to do so rudely, which can be very intimidating for newer players. When I call the Director, I always preface it by saying to the other players, "I am going to ask the Director for a ruling on this".

There are more, many more, but I shall leave this now asking you to reflect on the motto of Winchester College, Oxford, "Manners maketh man."

 Published in March 2009 edition of Trumps Plus